27 May 2022

A Taxonomy of Drivers by Car

 I drive a lot and I enjoy it.  But there are other drivers who seem determined to spoil the experience.  I find it surprisingly easy to predict the way a particular driver is likely to drive by the type of car they are driving.  This is of course a stereotype.  Stereotypes are useful to a point.  But they are often wrong, and we need to recognize that.  That you drive a BMW does not necessarily mean you are an asshole.  But in a random sample of drivers, the correlation between BMWs and assholes is quite high.  And all of these driving issues can occur in any make of car, and there are lots of drivers in all these makes of car that behave perfectly well on the road.

Volvo: most likely to do something erratic, like change lanes without looking.  I think a lot of them are distracted by kids in the back or talking on the cell phone, or are simply not good at paying attention.   I think the reason for this correlation is that Volvo markets themselves as the safest car, and while it's not literally true, it has been at times in the past and they remain pretty good on that score.  So people who notice that they're in accidents have a slight preference for Volvos.

Since SUVs and their ilk became popular, there's a new contender for the most erratic drivers.  The Range Rover.  I'm pretty sure these are the same people who would have driven a Volvo 30 years ago, but these big SUVs have the advantage of mass.

In third place are the big SUVs from other carmakers--Jeep Grand Cherokee, GM Yukon/Suburban, etc.


BMW.  As I mentioned above, BMW drivers seem disproportionately to be assholes: cutting in line, aggressive moves, etc.  The problems rarely stem from incompetence or inattention like Volvo drivers, but from a stupid level of aggression.  I think what's going on is that BMW drivers like driving and are good at it, but they think because they're better, they deserve extra rights.  They certainly have more money.  It's frustrating, because they actually are pretty good cars.  But I wouldn't want to be typecast as one.  More than any other car, a really high percentage of BMW drivers fit the stereotype.

Audi... sort of a BMW wanna-be.  far fewer Audi drivers are assholes as BMWs, but it's a higher percentage than other cars.

Tesla.  I think lot of Tesla drivers are BMW drivers who are only driving a Tesla until BMW introduces an electric car to their liking.  (they have a couple already, but they are both aimed at much narrower market than the mainstream BMW).  In the meantime, they're in Teslas.


Mercedes: Some Mercedes drivers are like BMW drivers, others like Volvos.  Most seem to be on the competent side, but you really notice the outliers.


Big Pickup Truck.  They go waaay faster than the other traffic and they often make moves without looking.  Like BMW drivers, they're good at avoiding the accidents they seem determined to cause.  I suspect this is because they're relatively good at determining which drivers are likely to be able to get out of the way, and also they know that because their truck is so much bigger, they're safer even when they get it wrong.   A disproportionate number also have a high hatred for people who drive electric cars, small hybrids, or other small cars.  You will never see a coal roller that is not an oversized pickup truck.


Small East Asian car: this may be a person who is just learning to drive, who can't afford to drive much so their skills are poor,  or who cant see well.   I think there are a sizable number of them that grew up under circumstances where they never expected to learn to drive, and didn't learn to drive until they were in their late 20s and by then found it hard to adapt to the timing and speeds.  They drive well under the speed limit, don't take their turn at intersections, don't take advantage of free right turns, wait 5 seconds or more to move after the light changes.  For some reason people driving equally small or even smaller european cars don't seem to behave like this.

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